Band – Aids and Bullet holes.

…wake-up call for people who go through life thinking that the words they say don’t do any harm.

This is a slightly revised version of an article with this tittle that appeared in the odyssey ( 2nd February 2016)

“If you’re reading this, you’re probably not living under a rock, and if you’re not living under a rock, you’ve probably heard Taylor Swift’s song, “Bad Blood.” The song is allegedly about a feud between Taylor Swift and Katy Perry, but I don’t want to talk about that. What I do want to talk about is the importance of this song and more specifically, understanding the lesson in the lyric, “Band-Aids don’t fix bullet holes.”

What does “Band-Aids don’t fix bullet holes” really mean? Some might interpret it literally, some might just sing along and not interpret it at all, and then there’s those of us who look for meaning in the metaphor.
To me, “Band-Aids don’t fix bullet holes” isn’t about an actual band-aid or an actual bullet hole. To me, it isn’t about the injury or the means of fixing the injury at all. To me, it’s about the mindset of the person causing the injury.

Here’s the thing. When someone uses a real weapon to hurt someone else, they know exactly what they’re doing. They know that it only takes a few seconds to cause damage. They understand how long the recovery is going to take. They are fully aware of the pain that they are inflicting on the other person.

I don’t know about you, but I was raised to believe that words are weapons. Yet for some reason when people use their words to hurt someone else they act like they don’t know what they just did. They think it takes more than one shot to cause any kind of damage. They assume that the recovery will be quick and easy. They simply don’t think it’s a big deal. And it isn’t a big deal to them, because they’re not the one bleeding out.

They’re not the one in shock from the unexpected shot. They’re not the one with the aching pain that won’t go away. They’re not the one holding back tears that burn their eyes, tears that will soon spill over uncontrollably and lead to damp pillowcases and chapped cheeks.

They’re not the one with the bullet hole.They’re the one trying to stick a Band-Aid on it and walk away.
Now think about that in a literal sense. Think about how silly that sounds. At a very young age we all learn that sticking a literal band-aid on a literal bullet hole won’t do anything, yet somehow we’ve convinced ourselves that word-wise it’ll do the job and everything will be just fine. It’s time to stop believing that lie.

If you choose to walk around using your words as weapons, please stop expecting something as small as a band-aid to patch up the damage that you’re causing. Please understand that it doesn’t take long to hurt someone. Stop living under the illusion that it takes years of harsh words and petty comments. Yes, sometimes it can take longer because some people are stronger than others, but we’ll never fully know one another’s strengths and weaknesses, so why take that chance? Is it really worth it? No. I promise you it never is.

It always has and maybe always will blow my mind just how fast “mad love” can turn into “bad blood,” but I truly believe that if we try to understand the weight of our words before we say them, that if we choose to think before we speak, that if we start to take emotional injuries as seriously as we take physical injuries, then maybe we’ll be able to wash our hands clean.”

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It must be you.

Understand : as an individual you cannot stop the tide of fantasy and escapism sweeping a culture. But you can stand as an individual bulwark to this trend and create power for yourself. You were born with the greatest weapon in all of nature – the rational conscious mind. It has the power to expand your vision far and wide, giving you the unique capacity to distinguish patterns in events, learn from the past, glimpse into the future, see through appearances.

Circumstances are conspiring to dull that weapon and render it useless by turning you inward and making you afraid of reality. Consider it war. You must fight this tendency as best you can and move in the opposite direction. You must turn outward and become keen observer of all that is around you. You are doing battle against all the fantasies that are thrown at you. You are tightening your connection to the environment. You want clarity, not escape and confusion. Moving this direction will instantly bring you power among so many dreamers. ( An excerpt from The 50th Law by Robert Greene).

Perception

Whenever we as human beings talk, walk, associate and even give out our thoughts, we may think we are living our lives responsibly, and the noble way we should, there is always someone out there who looks you with disbelief and series of lyrics of your song with different versions of yourself, a lot of perception and prejudices. I just came to realize this the other day when I told a friend the I want suffering from some back pains and do you know the first thing she asked? Have you been suffering from some chronic illness before? Look it was only the first time I was talking to this friend about my health related issue just for her to know. Maybe I wanted someone to console me, someone who may assist me at such times, a friend and I mean a FRIEND who can be “part of me ” and realize that I needed some emotional, spiritual, and even physical support at that moment.

So why all these, why perception or rather irrational judgement towards someone whom you don’t even know better? Who have not even exposed most of his or herself much to you? In advanced Business Studies, Perception has been defined by Robin and Judge as the process by which individuals organize and interpret the environment through their various senses. (Essentials of Organization Behavior, 10/e. Stephen P. Robbins & Timothy A. Judge. Chapter 3) Human beings always rely on the senses of sight, touch, smell, taste and hearing to get stimuli and make meaning out of it. (Human Physiology /Senses)

There are factors which influence perception and they are always three which include; factors in the perceiver, factors in the target and lastly factors in the situation. I’ll just dwell on one, that is Factors in the target. Under the factors in the target there is one known as Appearance. Someone who is neatly dressed may be welcome in an office while the other one who is shabbily dressed may not yet he is the one bringing business to the company.

Maybe the friend had identified or noticed my physical appearance in the previous paragraph as a tall slender guy and not only slender buy also somehow weak in nature and that’s why she had perceived or concluded that I may have been suffering from some chronic illness as opposed to someone who is huge, masculine and even with some six PACs who she may say is more than healthy, that’s her perception according to someone’s outlook.

Now how can we stop or rather adjust ourselves to this circle of perception or of prejudice in out daily lives or in our neighborhoods because it is something which at times may even create enemity between our friends and us or even the family, it may break our raport with those whom we have close ties with. We may perceive that someone’s character is the way we have make it to be through our own perception. Actually this at times may absolutely be null. After staying with the person we had perceived is related to some characters in his life we may realize that we were actually wrong at the first place after close interaction with the target [person or object]. At times you may have seen someone with dreadlocks and relate him to be a drug addict and even to be smoking but after close interaction with him or after delving much into his personality we will realize that we were wrong.

Close relationship or interaction with the target will precisely be our alternative version which will make us end perception on people and any other thing. This may actually be done with us in person or by another party somewhere who may have been in close relationship with the object. This is the only way which may eliminate or do away with perception in our lives.